I don't like admitting it (who does?) but I'm not feelin' the NaNoWriMo this year. I know, I know. I'm supposed to "just keep writing anyway". It's the exercise in making yourself write, not necessarily the story that comes out of it. I know this and yet, I've just decided not to do it this year.
I will, however, fiddle around with this story idea a bit more, here and there. I think there's something to it (and hey, I DO have an ending for it!) and maybe it's more that I think it deserves more time/effort than a violent 30-day writing gorge can give it. Or, that's a hoity-toity excuse.
I do feel shame, and I do feel guilt. I read the cheering-on emails I get from Chris Baty and others and for a moment or two I think, hey, I'm only a week behind. Maybe....?
And then I think, don't be silly.
And then I think... well.... ..... maybe?
I am sooooo done messing around with Flickr today... I uploaded a shit-ton of old pictures... They are at http://www.flickr.com/photos/jewjewbee/sets/ if you want to check them out... You have to scroll down to the bottom of the sets to see most of what I uploaded today, though, since I am trying to keep things in chronological order... Or, I suppose you could just check out the photostream http://www.flickr.com/photos/jewjewbee/... Whatever works! Later days...
Yes, there has been a delay. The Tattooed Lady will be here in less than one month- first week in December.
You can still pre-order via Amazon.com, which is kindly sending out little emails recommending it to people who have bought other tattoo books.
You can even browse through a few selected pages!
I'm in the process of planning two book signings at the beginning of December, more details to follow. One will definitely be at Woodland Pattern Books in Milwaukee on Dec. 9th. I will be talking as part of their Prose Series and signing books.
I think there will also be something at Carroll University in Waukesha in March for Women's History Month.
Enjoy the random new tattoo picture from this summer!
I really didn't think nursing was going to work out for me. Most of you know that. For the first month of LittleGuy's life, I was very close to giving up. A few trusted sources told me to stick it out until six weeks. I did. Amazingly, they were right, it did get easier...but I still wasn't sold. I was dependent on that damn nipple shield and I had very little confidence that my "chest structure" would ever truly be able to feed my child.
However, ten weeks into this nursing relationship with my baby and I'm a done deal. I love it. I feel like breastfeeding Finn is one of the most amazing things I have ever done in my entire life. An accomplishment as much as it is a gift. He practically weaned himself off the shield over a week ago and I can't believe that "they" work - all by themselves! Well, LittleGuy is bigger and knows what to do now, so that helps A LOT.
I finally feel comletely in tune with the whole experience. I did not believe people who told me it's easier to breastfeed, but now I know it's true. And, it is just an amazing thing to be able to nourish your child...just by being alive and eating and drinking and staying near your baby. Amazing. My body makes food. I am a fully functioning kitchen for my baby. Completely mind blowing. Everytime we sit down for a "meal" I am washed in awe.
It really irks me that the nurses in NY did not encourage me more when Littleman was born. It makes me sad that this experience was lost for him...and me. I am sad that I'll only get to nurse one baby. I don't feel any less connected to Littleman, plus, I really didn't know what I was missing. (Since I won't be letting LittleGuy sleep in our bed, I feel like the boys are even in "closeness to mommy as a baby" issues). And I am not saying that every one should nurse - it has to be right for that mom and that baby at that moment. It really is not easy. It takes patience and confidence (when you have none) and, most of all, a support system.
All that said, as much as I love nursing, it is pretty gross. Milk gets every where. At times I am literally a geyser. It completely suppresses my libido and there are a multitude of drugs (ie, birth control) that are forbidden. I lack grace and tact, so in public I am pretty much a nursing nightmare. (Thank goodness Littleman is too young to be embarassed by me...and Papabear is working so much, he's usually not with us). And, I know I have complained about this before, but the sheer size that I have to carry around...is really ridiculous. So, it's not heaven or perfect. But, it is beautiful. *I* may not be, but the act is beautiful. Beautiful and peaceful and almost magical. I feel completely and utterly content. I am living my dream.
I am a mommy of two beautiful boys and wife to a man I love and adore. If I died today I could say I have everything I ever wanted.
What are your favorite web or mobile apps? Which ones do you use everyday?
I'd be lost without my Tweetie.
I've made the mistake of writing the "end" of my NaNoWriMo story.
It was in my head, and I was excited, because I'd actually come up with an ending. Which I didn't start out with - so you can imagine my pleasure. This freak of a story which I'd embarked upon without any knowledge of the characters or the world they live in (or, rather, die in, since I've already killed off half the cast) was just sort of flopping along, without any arms or legs, and while I pitied it, I kept on writing.
And then last night while at the gym (it's annoyingly cliche that my brain really DOES work better during exercise) I struck upon how this monster would actually end. So I rushed home and wrote it, while it was still all pink and fresh and gleaming.
And now I feel like I'm done. I know I'm not; I mean, there's a whole lot of middle-stuff that I haven't even considered yet. Step one, character. Step two, ?? Step three, result! It's the Underpants Gnomes of stories. I'm finding it incredibly hard to care about the middle stuff though. My brain has convinved itself that it's finished this story, and it wants to move on to the next one.
I sense the rest of this month of writing is going to be very painful.
Here's the last of 'em. LittleGuy as a horsie and Littleman with his friends.
Now that Halloween is over, Littleman is already talking about Christmas. Taking down the Halloween decorations was so sad for him (we've had them up since October 1!!!!). I almost wish there were more decorations for Thanksgiving. BUT, I am not going there. The day after Thanksgiving we break out the Christmas stuff and that's good enough for me. I love that Littleman shares my excitement for holidays. He could ignore my jollyness, but he embraces it. We'll make some turkey decorations to get us through until black Friday. I have to make calendars for him to hang in his room so he can check off the days.
Well, I haven't been sleeping great, so I think I'm going to head to bed. I think all the adrenaline and elation that got me through the first two months has finally wore off...and the lack of sleep is taking its toll. I can't say enough how grateful I am to have friends out here who invite me over for dinner or come over when I need their kids to entertain mine. I couldn't survive without them.
Boogie often says funny things, and I do my best to repeat them so I can (1) remember for my own amusement and (2) give other people a reason to laugh... So, without further ado, here are three of the best recent funnies:
Me: You have to eat all of your dinner or you won't get any Halloween candy. You know that!
Boogie: Yeah, I know. I'm not having candy tonight. But, I at least I know I can get candy on Thursdays!
Me: Why's that? (wondering if he thinks he'll get away with stuff when I am at work)
Boogie: Because I pound my mac 'n cheese!
[after hearing Clark make fun of me for the billionth time for having lost my wallet in both NYC and Las Vegas] "But, you're supposed to lost things there... It's called Lost Vegas!"
Boogie: [talking to my belly] "Goodnight baby! I love you! I hope you're a boy or a girl... And I hope you come out."
Me: Well, You're in luck! The baby will either be a boy or a girl AND the baby will come out some day!
Boogie: Good!
Yeah... I think my heart will probably explode the first time I see Boogie and the baby together... Don't know how I will be able to handle any more cuteness than I already do... Later days...
For some reason, Papabear gets the biggest grins out of our LittleGuy and today we had our first big laughs - amazingly I caught them on video.
Littleman had his Halloween party at preschool yesterday. They made jack-o-lantern cupcakes.
LittleGuy's wearing shoes!!!! How cute!
Pumpkin carving....
Papabear went all out when making a veggie tray for Littleman and a friend he had over for dinner!!! Would it surprise you at all to hear that Littleman cried when Lauren ate a little of HIS name???
In case you want an update on the breast feeding, continue reading: I started weaning LittleGuy off the shield a few days ago by taking it off for one of the afternoon feedings. WELL, by yesterday afternoon, he decided he wanted NONE of the shield at all! It's been a little bit of a struggle. When the jugs are full, so to speak, there's not a lot of surface area which makes it difficult for LittleGuy to latch on. He gets royally pissed, though, if I try to start with the shield - he really wants nothing to do with it! But, he has trouble getting "on" without it. This morning, though, we finally made things "work" by using the latch-assist. Without going into too much detail, for those of you who have no interest in reading about the finer details of breastfeeding, it's going well. We had a full feeding session completely free of the shield. I am still amazed that I am doing this. I am feeding my baby and it feels great to be able to do so.
Are you wondering if he sleeps through the night? He's pretty much on this eating schedule at night: 8p, dreamfeed at 10:30p, 3:30a, 7a - So I am up at 3:30 and 7 ish....I have adjusted to this so I am functioning okay. I am hopeful that he'll start sleeping longer soon....aren't we all? He's cute and sweet and cuddly, so I feel well compensated for the lack of sleep....
This little one is NOT sleeping in our bed like Littleman did for so, so, so many months. (not yet anyway, ha ha) He sleeps in the bassinet next to our bed. I tried moving him to his room the other day, but it's too soon. I felt absolutely haggard running down there in the middle of the night. I'm going to try again in a couple of weeks.
That's all for now folks! Hope everyone has a happy halloween!
Is taunting me... I'm tired, but not sleepy... And I will be doing a lock-in tonight... The official "lights out" will be at 4am... Gawd help me! Later days...
